WWE RAW Results
March 14th 2011
By Bill Pritchard for Wrestlezone.com
The Rock is in his home office and he cuts a promo with a little kid supposed to be Cena, and tells him not to rap. The kid raps anyway then Rock sits in a chair and says they should have talked a long time ago, and Rock says Cena became "the man" since Rock left. Rock says Cena owns the 2 to 5 year olds, but he'll never be as good as the Rock because he's not that talented. Rock asks the kid how he feels, then cuts him off with "IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU FEEL" and makes the kid cry. Rock says he is sorry and tells the kid to blow his nose in a Cena shirt, and tells him he has a gift and gives him a box of Fruity Pebbles.
Rock changes his tune and says hello to Miz, and says they haven't been properly introduced yet. Rock says he saw what Miz said last week, and the time for talking is over, and he will keep his promise of showing up live. He says the only thing they should be concerned with is how big of a smack down he lays on their asses, if they smell what he's cookin'.
Miz comes out to the ring while they show video of him attacking Cena over the past few weeks, then he smiles in the ring as he gets booed by the crowd. Miz makes fun of Rock's shirt and says he's a footnote and has outdated catchphrases.He says Rock's father and grandfather were good, but they were never WWE Champion, so he is better than them and he can say whatever he wants. Miz says the Rock can make a 6 year old cry, but if he steps in the ring with Miz, he will be the one crying. He says Rock should stop talking about owning Cena, because Miz is actually the guy who has done it. Miz says he is praying that the Rock brings it, because whenever it happens he will be overshadowed by the Miz.
The GM sends an email and Cole leaves his little protective glass booth (yes, you have to see it) to answer it, but Lawler cuts him off and tells him to go away. The email says there will be two "First Time Ever matches" and they will see John Cena face Alberto Del Rio. Miz asks who he gets because he has beaten everybody there is, and Lawler says he is wrong, and The Great Khali comes out to the ring with Ranjin.
The Miz vs The Great Khali
Miz punches Khali but Khali hits him and throws him in the corner, then chops him in the chest and follows it with a punch to the head. Khali grabs Miz and puts him in the Vise Grip, but Miz makes it to the ropes just as Alex Riley runs in and goes after Khali! The ref rings the bell as Riley keeps swinging, but Khali picks him up and chokebombs him on the mat. Miz comes in with a chair and absolutely unloads on him with it. Miz puts down the broken chair, then picks up Khali and DDT's him on it, and picks up the chair and takes it to the back with him.
Winner by DQ - The Great Khali
John Morrison is in the back talking to Snooki until they are interrupted by Vickie and Dolph, and she tells Snooki to stay away from Dolph. Vickie says she was offered the cover of Playboy, but Snooki tells her it was a centerfold because they can't fit all of that on one page. Vickie gets ****** and tries slapping her, but Snooki blocks it and slaps her back. Morrison tells her they should get out of there, and Vickie screams while Dolph looks all concerned and holds her.
United States Championship
Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan (c)
Sheamus pounds on Bryan then slams his head into the turnbuckle, but Bryan runs up it and backflips him, and attempts a submission move. Sheamus makes it to the ropes and gets outside but Bryan runs the ropes and hits a suicide dive and goes to the top rope. He hits a missile dropkick for two and Sheamus bails outside again as we go to a commercial break. When we return, Sheamus is in control and has Bryan in a rear chinlock, but Bryan gets out, only to run into a forearm smash. He chops Bryan on the ropes, then goes to the apron and knees him in the head, then whips him off the ropes but Bryan spins through and gets a near fall.
Bryan throws him over the ropes to the outside and Sheamus looks to have hurt his leg again and the ref starts the ten count. Bryan is held back by the ref and Sheamus runs at him for a Brogue Kick, but Bryan ducks and puts him in the LeBell Lock. Sheamus makes it to the ropes and lifts him for the High Cross, but Bryan rolls through and gets another near fall. Bryan unloads on Sheamus and repeatedly kicks him in the head, then goes up top and leaps off, but Sheamus hits him in mid air with the Brogue Kick and makes the cover.
Winner and NEW United States Champion - Sheamus
Michael Cole stands up in his "Cole Mine" and says he is about to expose Lawler and he is bringing someone back to show what Lawler is all about. Cole gets in the ring and says he knows how defensive Lawler gets about his family, but he won't talk about them because his family will be talking about them. Cole introduces Lawler's son Brian Christopher, and he dances his way to the ring to his Grandmaster Sexay theme. Cole says he has a question for him, and he asks why he never went by Brian Lawler in his career, and Brian says he felt like he never had a father.
He says King neglected him, and he never really wanted a child because he never wanted anything to steal his spotlight. He says he made it on his own but Lawler wouldn't even acknowledge he was his son, and Lawler has heard enough and picks up a microphone. He says he is glad he never used the Lawler name, because he is a bigger screw up than Charlie Sheen, and he can't believe he would associate with Cole. Brian asks him how it feels knowing that he competed at Wrestlemania before King, and slaps him in the face trying to get King to answer. Brian says the reason he never used his name is because he is ashamed of his father, and he drops the mic and walks away and Cole starts running his mouth again.
Cole calls him a loser and says he will put him in his place and ... BOOMER SOONER it's Jim Ross! JR comes down to the ring to a huge ovation and Cole says he has been waiting for this, but JR tells him this has gone far enough. Cole tells him to go away because it is his show now, and JR says he has been meaning to talk to him about that. JR says it was his honor to work with King, but none of them will ever be the voice of RAW, because it is the WWE Universe that is the voice. He says King has been carrying Cole the whole time, and JR calls him a rat bastard. JR goes to leave and Cole says he always imagined it like this and says JR is leaving with his tail between his legs, and JR turns around and takes off his coat and hat.
He tells Cole he is going to kick his ***, and Cole tells him to bring it, as Jack Swagger attacks Jerry Lawler from behind. Swagger gets in the ring and goes after JR and puts him in the Ankle Lock, and he is screaming out in pain as Cole is asking him how it feels. King jumps in to briefly stop the attack, but Cole jumps on him and Swagger puts him in the Ankle Lock, then Cole puts JR in the Ankle Lock and screams that they'll think twice about doing anything to him again.
Randy Orton vs Mason Ryan
Orton punches away at Ryan until Ryan hits a big boot then follows it with a backbreaker and gets a two count. Ryan picks him back up and hits two more backbreakers, but Orton kicks out again and Ryan puts him in a bearhug. Orton fights out and clotheslines him but Ryan comes right back and hits a jumping side slam, then looks at the Wrestlemania sign before turning back to Orton. He takes too long as Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere and makes the cover and CM Punk is flipping out on the stage.
Orton takes his time getting out of the ring and starts heading towards Punk, then turns around and stares at Ryan. Punk starts running after him but Orton runs in the ring and punts Ryan before Punk can get there. Orton starts pounding the mat and they have a staredown before Punk leaves the ring as EMT's are taking a stretcher to tend to Ryan who is on the ringside floor.
Winner - Randy Orton
Cole asks for everyone's attention again, and says they should all feel honored because they saw the Michael Cole Ankle Lock. He says that is the move that he will beat and embarrass King with. He keeps going and asks JR what he thinks of that, and says he stomped a mudhole in him. The music cuts him off as we get a graphic of Cena/Del Rio then go backstage to see Trish and Snooki. Zack Ryder walks past them and he asks Snooki what she thinks of his Situation, and she says Woo Woo Woo and touches his abs and heads to the ring. (I marked, I am a proud Zack Packer)
Snooki gets introduced by Justin Roberts and she heads to the ring and asks for the mic. She asks everyone what is up and says she has been waiting all week to be the guest star, and is excited to be there. She says she can't wait for Trish Stratus to come out and shut Vickie Guerrero's big fat mouth.
Vickie comes out and says she will not only beat Trish, but she will be hired on RAW, and she has some words for Snooki. She warns her to never put her hands on her again, and says she stole her spotlight and her magazine cover. Vickie calls Snooki a thief and shows everyone a Rolling Stone cover with her on it, and she says she will be the new media darling by the end of the night. She says she will prevail and overcome her obstacles, but she knows she is a good person.
Vickie Guerrero vs Trish Stratus
Vickie warms up before the match and tells the ref to hold her back while she stretches, but Trish rolls her up for a near fall. Vickie tries to kick her but she gets shoved backwards and Vickie runs away and loses her shoe. She picks it up and laughs at Trish then throws it at her, and takes off the other one and taunts Trish. Trish kicks her again then smacks her in the *** with the shoe, until Dolph Ziggler runs to the ring to try and get Trish off of Vickie. John Morrison runs down and knocks Dolph out of the ring, then hits a corkscrew dive to the floor outside. LayCool runs down and go after Trish, and Michelle kicks her right in the jaw and help Vickie make the cover.
Winner - Vickie Guerrero
They take pictures standing over Trish then start making fun of Snooki's height, and Michelle gets her face on the outside. She shoves Snooki and tries getting back in the ring, but Snooki grabs her leg and pulls her off the apron and Michelle cracks her mouth on the side of the ring. Snooki runs in the ring and Lou Thesz presses Layla and starts slamming her head into the mat while Trish gets back in and goes after Michelle.
Dolph, Vickie and LayCool run from the ring while Morrison, Trish and Snooki celebrate in the ring. Vickie grabs a microphone and says she is going to embarrass them on the biggest stage of them all and issue a challenge for LayCool and Dolph to face Trish, Dolph and Snooki at Wrestlemania! Snooki says she will see them there and the play her music while Dolph and LayCool continue to yell at them from the ramp.
Alberto Del Rio (w Brodus Clay) vs John Cena
Alberto flips Cena over and keeps him in a headlock but Cena escapes and hits a shoulder tackle, and Alberto rolls outside as we go to a break. When we get back, Alberto is in control as Cena gets back to his feet and he hits a side suplex and both men are down as the ref starts counting. They get back up at the same time and double clothesline each other and the ref starts the count once again. They throws punches as they stagger to their feet and Cena hits a shoulder block and a side slam, then signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He hits it and lifts Alberto for the AA but Brodus runs in to stop it and they attack Cena as the ref rings the bell.
Winner by DQ - John Cena
The Rock's music hits and "he" comes out, but it's really Miz in a bald cap. He makes his way to the ring as Alberto and Brodus continue to attack, and Miz hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, then props him in the corner so Alberto can kick him in the head. Brodus hits a fallaway slam that knocks Cena out of the ring and Miz mocks Rock and does his pose on the turnbuckle, then goes outside to pick up Cena off the floor.
He rams Cena's spine into the turnbuckle, then says here's your Road to Wrestlemania and cracks him in the head with the microphone. He tells Cena he has owned him for three weeks, and will own him all the way to Wrestlemania, then hits him with the mic again. Miz takes off his shirt to choke Cena with it, and suplexes him on the ramp and continues to go after him. Cena psyches up for a brief moment and lifts Miz for the AA, but Miz drops out of it and DDT's him on the top of the stage.
He mocks Cena and tells him to get up for the fans, and asks if he wants more. Miz throws him headfirst into the giant WWE logo on the stage, and waits for him to struggle to get back up. Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale onto the metal base of the sign, and he continues to mock an unconscious Cena on the stage as he stands over him as RAW goes off the air.