419.5 SUNDAY CHECKLIST

harddrive · **Posted:** Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:49 am

You Know you are Pittsburgh Squeelers fan when ...

- Your house moves but your twelve cars don't.
- You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
- You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
- Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
- You burn your yard rather than mow it.
- You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
- The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
- You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
- You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
- You come back from the dump with more than you took.
- You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
- Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
- Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
- You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
- You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
- You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
- You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
- You have a rag for a gas cap.
- Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
- You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
- You can spit without opening your mouth.
- You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
- Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
- You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
- The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
- Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
- You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
- A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
- You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
- You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
- You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
- You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table ... in front of her kids.
- You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
- You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
- Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
- You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
- Anyone in your family ever died right after saying: "Hey watch this".
- You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
- Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
- Your junior prom had a daycare.
- You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are: "Gentlemen start your engines".
- You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
- The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
- You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
- One of your kids was born on a pool table.
- You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
- You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
- You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.
- Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
- Your front porch collapses and kills more than five animals.
- At some point in your life you've been too drunk to fish.
- The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM PITTSURGH WHEN ...

1. You walk carefully when it is "slippy" outside.
2. You often go down to the "crick".
3. You have to "red up" before company comes over.
4. You've ever gotten hurt by falling into a "jaggerbush".
5. You know that Ahia is a river, a boulevard, and a state.
6. You've ever "warched" or "wershed" the laundry.
7. You know where Beer Falls is. (Beaver Falls)
8. Mr. Webster is wrong. You know full well that "ain't” is correct English.
9. You know you can't drive too fast of back roads, cause-udda-deer.
10. "Gumbands" .... need i say more?
11. You've ever drank and "arn".
12. You've ever told someone to "quit jaggin around".
13. You know that Clinton, Monaca, and Beaver, are actually names of towns.
14. You've called someone a "jaggoff".
15. You hear "you guyses" or "yins" and don't look twice.
16. You know the 3 rivers by name and can pronounce them correctly, but refer to the as ... da Mon, da Al, and da O.
17. You hate Cleveland although you've never been there.
18. You know where KerNEGgy is and you like his museum and "liberries".
19. You drink "pop", eat "hogies" "pierogies" and "gyros"(jy-rows).
20. You drink Melk.
21. You didn't have IHOPS or Wafflehouses.
22. You know what a still mill is.
23. You cheer for the Stillers.
24. You expect temps in the winter to be record breaking cold and temps in the summer to record breaking hot.
25. You go dahntahn to da strip district and take your wife with you. Be sure to get a Permanee's sammich while yins are der hangin out an ‘nat.
26. You know where Picksburgh is.
27. You can find Zillionopal of a map.
28. You go food shoppin at Jine Iggle.
29. You don't have a spring break in high school.
30. You beleive that "Ize" is the abreviation for "I was".
31. You know some one from "Sliberty , Esliberty or Wesliberty.
32. You've played witha dekkacards.
33. You know the picksburgh zoo is in "Hilinpark" and have been there for school field trips.
34. You say "McConnells Mills" although you know that there is only one mill there.
35. You what is meant by "the POINT".
36. You love Pensivanya.
37. Chipped ham was always in your fridge when you were growing up.
38. If you've ever been "ascared" because that "nebby" old lady across the street saw you do something bad and you know she will "tell on you".
39. No matter how hard you try you can't stop talking Picksburghese.
40. You are reading this and will forward it to family and friends who used to live in "da-burgh".